Privacy or No Privacy.
Last week I saw one of my college friend online and the first thing I did was to say a hi and have a good conversation as it had been really long time. She happens to be one of those few friends whom I’m really fond of as a person. Not surprised I did get replies to my messages, but in a slight different and vague manner.
As I kept guessing what was wrong, I recieved a call from this very friend that her boyfriend was accessing her mail and replied to my messages. She in turn asked me not to reply to her messages and ofcourse not even ping her for that matter. Wow!!!
A couple of days back, this other friend whom I talk to daily over the internet, messages me not to ping her myself as the boyfriend might be on her ID. “If this stays, Who would ping her any how in future?”, was the first thing that came to my mind. Yes it did.
Now it also reminds me of a close friend whom I lost just because the ‘boyfriend’ never wanted her to talk to her friends. Sorry I had to mention it here. Forgive me.
Then I have a friend whose girlfriend would look up all of his cellphone messages and always assumes something is fishy. I feel bad for you, my friend.
Yes, you would be saying I suck at relationships, who am I to write all this? Well, just an attempt to make you guys wonder that do we actually need to share everything with our mates? our passwords? our cellphones? everything? Please dont pick up the ‘trust’ issue here.
Your mate wouldn’t ever, yes ever like all of your friends. Is it he/she who decides whom would you talk to? Or is it you who made those friends?
It gives me a shiver. Yes. But, I’m not doing this. Ever. Not asking my girl’s passwords ever. Even thinking of doing that makes me laugh right now. hahaha.
I find it assuming… how these couples define this, oh! we need to keep a check. I also wonder if both the guy and the girl knows each others passwords, otherwise its more hollow.
I think I should close this post here. Privacy or no privacy is what you guys have to deal with. I don’t care. hahaha!!!
You know Charu, I sort of agree with you here. I think there really needs to be a fine line between what is your “exclusive” space and what it is you share with your “boyfriends” and “girlfriends”. I absolutely hate the idea that someone else checks your account or phone to keep a tab on what you’re doing and who you’re talking to. Such relationships will always have fights… can you imagine the amount of explaining one always has to do? Can you imagine the amount of trust in that relationship that you have to go through the other persons stuff to know what he/she is doing?
I also get tempted to know what another “she” has messaged “him” or what long mail was exchanged but you just have to draw a line and practice some self control and give the other person the freedom to make their own judgments knowing that they won’t be having an affair, or whatever else you’re insecure of, behind your back.
I have also been thinking about this a lot lately because it really is a sociallyl-altering decision that people have to make. Both people have to make compromises somewhere but they just need to be rational decisions. Not just, “you’re not talking to him and that’s final!”
It’s also mostly the boys who have this huge possessiveness problem and trust me, we’re all subjected to strange requests when it comes to talking to other guys! But you just in the end have to decide for yourself what you think is right or wrong and just let the other person know why it’s okay that you talk to whoever you want. And most often, the guys will go about doing whatever they want but dictating terms to their girlfriends. Ridiculous!
If you want to share your password with someone, it should be for the right reasons. I toh think ki if I suddenly die, at least someone should be able to let everyone know and reply to my mails, na?
But I don’t want then to EVER snoop around and then accuse me of doing things or go through my stuff without my permission. That is disrespectful, no matter who the other person is!! Or that I can even think of doing that to another person, no matter how close! At the end of the day, it’s two different lives.
It’s turned out to be a long reply :p But I completely understanding your “wondering” because I myself really wonder!
Wow!! I like how people get so judgmental and write stuff without even knowing the whole truth. If they don’t like a part that they know (or not know) then they start complaining about it and mock at it. Lets face it…it doesn’t really matter if it the girl or a boy but they will always have a problem if they see someone else coming too close to their bf/gf.. Oh, and I have no problems accepting the fact that that ‘other friend’ is me…and thanks for the concern!!
Keep up the good work..!!
If the password is happening just to snoop around, then there are some serious trust issues.
But a lot of times you end up sharing your passwords in emergencies like replying to an email when you don’t have access to internet. then its cool.Shows that you have nothing to hide and trust your bf/gf to open your account.
Yes, ofcourse!!! very true… thats the way it works right? not like your boyfriend or girlfriend hovering over your chat list every other day.
I’m surely not complaining or making fun of people on a public forum, one….. and secondly, this is a personal opinion on how people share stuff like passwords which I would not be doing anyhow!
I couldn’t read the whole post because I already had a long comment coming up just halfway because u have addressed a great post modern issue which needs to be debated upon..okay seriously.. This happened to me as well..once one of my friend was online and she had a pic with her boyfriend as display, I asked if that was her brother and ’she’ went offline..a day later she tells me she wasnt online her boyfriend was..I didn’t talk to her online till she changed her boyfriend…lol
It’s not just privacy, the issue is much complicated. To appear just little sweet to ur partner u r cheating on all ur friends who assume it to be u and open up their hearts. And about relationship, if password is given because the partner demands to know whats happening in ur life then sorry u r not with the right person. Trust is a great factor to have long lasting relationships and if the relationship lacks that then it wont go far. privacy means a personal authority which belongs only to me and cant be shared at any circumstances. I might share every goddamn thing with my girlfriend but the question of giving my password, or authority to open a letter that came for me doesnt even arise because the right to do these things belong only to me and in Barack Omaba’s words “is Non Negotiable”…because when i share it I voluntarily do it but when u see it without my knowledge or before me u steal my that non negotiable right.
This is pure childish and immature and I strongly object to it. You must not acquire what belongs to others if u want to rightfully claim what belongs to you..aah what a great quote..
I have lot more to say…but m short of words..next time..
Baharul you’ve clearly understood what I had to say. Thanks for the comment. But jokes apart, while registering for a particular forum (i’m forgetting which one), there was this statement which came along saying, do not share your password, not even with your husband or your mother.