Happiness

Small things make me happy.

Yes, really! Just like a pleasant smile from someone works wonders for me.

What makes me say this? Well, I’m really euphoric right now. Its been ages now that I wanted to hold that guitar properly and play stuff. Yes, stuff is what I’m mentioning here. As I just dont know how to play it.

I picked up the guitar, yes not for the picture this time. And I learnt a chord tonight. Yes, it sounded just O.K. though. But it sounded like a start to me. A beginning. Happiness. No looking back.

Yay, the D chord!!!

Yes, I’m surely loving it.

I’ve also been listening to a lot of John Mayer all these days. One of the many reasons which motivated me to pick up and play that sound. I’m in love with the cover of “Bold as Love” (actually a Jimi Hendrix track) that John Mayer performed live at LA for ‘Where the Light is’ . I love the part when John Mayer talks about ‘love’.

…

I tried every approach to living, I tried it all. I haven’t tried everything, but I’ve tried every approach. Sometimes you have to try everything to get the approach the same. But…

I tried it all. I bought a bunch of stuff, I went, no, I don’t like that. I kind of came in and out of that a couple of times.

Thought I would shut myself off. I thought maybe that’s cool, maybe that’s what you have to do to be a genius is you have to be mad. So if you can get mad before the word genius, then maybe you can make genius appear. Right? That doesn’t work either.

I’m in a good place. I’ve paced myself pretty well. I’m thirty, I’ve seen some cool stuff. Made a lot of stuff happen for myself. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself. That’s a really cool sentence when you’re in your twenties, “I made it happen for myself man.”

But all that means is that I’ve just somehow found a way to synthesize love, synthesize soothing… you can’t get that.

And what I’m saying is that I’ve messed with all the approaches except for one. And it’s going to sound really corny, but that’s just love. That’s just love. I’ve done everything in my life that I want to do except just give and feel love for my living.

And I don’t mean like a roman candle, firework, Hollywood, hot pink love. I mean like a “I got your back!” love.

I don’t need to hear I love you. You guys love me, I love you, we got that down.

Some of the people who will tell you they love are some of the people who will be the last just to have your back.

So I’m going to experiment with this love thing. Givin’ love, feelin’ love. I know it sounds really corny, but it’s the last thing I got to check out before I check out.

…

I’m loving it!

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