This morning! In a friend’s car! While going to college! Great Music!

It so happens that the song ‘ik din ayega’ (Jal) started playing. *(read, A day will come)

Sitting at the window seat, looking outside, lost in nostalgia, lost in thoughts, and smiling. I didn’t realize when we reached college. It was a short route anyway. It reminded me of a lot of the time spent together with my friends during my graduation days. Vibhor and I would always sing this song and tell each other how good our lives would be, henceforth…

Lately, the idea of the existence of a cycle for one’s social behavior keeps coming to my head. Its that time of the life. All of our lives revolve around the concept of being an extrovert-ambivert-introvert. Circumstances play a huge role in how our lives are molded. The challenge for us is to be in control of one’s life. ONE’S OWN LIFE.

Teri Aankein Ab Hongi Na Kabhi Nam
Tu Jo Dekh Leh, Toh bhula doon Mein Saarein Gum
Tu Jo Chahein Toh.. Badlega Mausam..

… Of how good our lives would be, no matter…! hmmm!

Dil Tu Rona Nahin,
Khwaab Adhure Nahin… Ik Din Ayega…!

He was just not interested initially, so he named himself (quite peculiar) Colenel Faltu! Mind you, do not forget the Colenel bit!

A very dedicated soldier from day one of joining the forces, he fought for all, Americans, Germans, British and even the Russians. No wonder. Quite peculiar again. Colenel was very efficient in throwing grenades at the enemy though sometimes ended up killing his own team mates. But they still loved him. Some of the enemy soldiers even loved being killed by Colenel’s bullets though some of them never stopped challenging him all the time. “Will hit you here, will hit you there!”… Sigh!

So here is an official dedication to Colenel Faltu, may he always be remembered and looked upto.

Call of duty? Anybody?

“All I can do is be me, whoever that is.” – Bob Dylan

And somebody just told you last night that you had a horrible sense of humour, or terrible you were?

But didn’t this other person told you a night before how great you were, and you were quite funny?

Feels Good? Come back to life and just be what you are. To, just be!

~random post!

Playing: Let it be-The Beatles

My lunches and dinners these days are more or less dominated by the noodle-smoodle industry. Last couple of months I’ve more or less been alive on chow mein, Maggi or my all time favourite Top Ramen smoodles.

It was after a long time that I got Top Ramen (Be a smoodie, not a noodle). The tagline sounds really pervert to me now. Back then as a kid, I used to boast and brag about how great it was to be a smoodie and not a noody, or whatever. But the crux of the matter is that I really love Top Ramen over Maggi.

I’m tired of sitting in the class and listening to questions like… When you think of noodles, what do you think of? Or worse still… When you think of 2 minutes noodles, what do you think of? Yes, maggi ofcourse! But guys? Over and over again? Move on! Though noodle-smoodle is the best thing humans ever invented.

I hate it when people ask lame questions, or discuss hopeless stuff in the class. Infact this happens more when I really want to learn in the class. I remember in school, this female asked questions like, Sir is there a reason that the heart is tilted towards the left? Sir, Sir, my dear Sir, is there a reason that the heart beats 72 times a minute? My goodness. That still happens. Here at the business school as well…

Sir, Sir, my dear Sir, Does targeting the right segment of the customer by positioning the right product at the right time in the minds of the customer in the above market…..! hmmm!

Oh it took two and a half minutes to cook, and the plate is clean in a minute and a half! I hate it!

Welcome to the largest democracy in the world; and ofcourse the ‘natak’ that comes along. Born and brought up in Delhi, graduating from the Delhi University itself and now being in Kolkata; I know exactly what politics is, or may be I like to presume so.

The newly painted walls of the ground in my colony here in Salt lake is full of those horrible looking posters. The fact is worsened by the fact that these posters is full of pictures of those ‘fat’, ‘ugly looking’ and ‘aged’ personalities. I’m further pissed off by those red flags hanging around everywhere. I’m pissed right now.

Further, walking back towards home this evening, as I reached the neighborhood market, I find this rally and its proceedings being carried out by one of these political parties. The whole road is jammed, with jeeps and vans full of people who looked like those paid for the day to join those rallies. A person standing on the top of the front van in white kurta with a mic and shouting out to God knows who. Begging for trust, begging for support. Somebody tell these morons that none of the educated people wants to listen to their stories, or what development they’ve been doing. Let the other fucking cars move on the road instead.

Our political environment sucks. Be it regional, state-based, or nationally. India, my ‘motherland’, to which I’m very proud of being born in, is like a rickety and an overcrowded bus with the driver and the conductor not knowing where the destination is. And it is the only mode of travelling, mind you.

Why does our political structure believes that there needs to be an age to ‘rule’ the nation. Why doesn’t the country feel that there must be a certain level of education to lead others. Why is our politics so much guided by caste, religion and birthplace, or even language. Have a look at the list of political parties in our country. So Hilarious. Even the whole talk of youth in politics in our country is just a gimmick. They are mere trump cards used by these politicians on the top level. I’m more amused when these young politicians become a part of reality shows on the idiot box. Who are these politicians to decide the names of  cities or towns and then they talk about history. Bloody illiterates.

Look at how voters are rewarded or bribed for their votes in universities. Who doesn’t want to catch that latest movie? or may be a beer or two? The ‘catch them young’ theory. The politicians deciding and talking about morality and whats right or wrong, and even what language to speak in. Tell those a-holes that hindi is the national language and  the states they were born in are not their fathers properties. Given a chance some politicians may sell of their states to other nations.

Do not think that I’m talking about politics as a whole. By this I also do not mean that its only a matter of a few black sheep in the herd. There surely are a few good citizens in the system, may be some of them who are never talked about, may be they do not make great stories to sell in the media. Media is full of reality shows, astronomy and Rakhi Sawant anyway. I’m sure she’s getting a ticket in elections soon.

I, as of now, do not relate to any parties in the system right now. I hate how the parties are known and blamed for being communal. Rightly so! At the same time I also hate how family legacy, the surname legacy exists in another one. I’m not sure if Priyanka Gandhi Wadera’s kids are also ‘the Gandhis’. Funny. Funny on how they talk of an SC/ST party giving tickets to a ‘Brahmin’ to attract votes in that population and at the same time shouting slogans against them. I find expansion plans of these parties more hilarious.

I’m sitting on this rickety bus too. But the whole thing just bugs me off. May be I’ll take the muddy and full of pot-holes road to my destination. Not that I’m deciding not to vote. But to vote only if its right and justified to do so. Fucking criminals.

P.S. Excuse the use of language in this post. Thank you. Good night.

I’m not afraid of dying. I’m more afraid to think and decide on what to do if I was to die tomorrow, or even if it came after a week. In a conversation with a friend and then later on a TED video, the very question kept coming, and I’m still thinking. Its been a week already!

Who all would you like to meet if you knew you gonna die? What would you like to do? What would you say? Oh, and you have no time to rehearse, make a plan or make a script. You have no time. Panic. Listening to ‘The Great Gig in the Sky’ makes me go much beyond! Will people have time? Will they have the same excuses that I have been throwing at them all this time? Would they have forgotten me? Will they come to my funeral, specially when I didn’t care when their family members died? Would they just think it’s the last means for a revenge?

Will I die happily? laughing on a friend’s joke? Will I die on the road? car accident? Would I get a heart attack, then rushed to a hospital, my family would spend lakhs to save me, and then I die? Will someone kill me? I already have a secret fantasy (no more) that the barber would chop off my head while I happily sit to get a shave.

A few years back, I can’t recall who, but some friend or teacher of mine told me the importance of forgetting and forgiving. Both being very important. If I’m told today of death, may be I start thinking on those lines. That I should forgive people for anything unjust they did to me? But otherwise? Forget, is much easier. I guess. But does it happen? It’s just mere coincidence that ‘wish you were here’ started playing.

I have had a lot of nightmares lately. I have woken up to a few as well. Some, which I even can’t talk about or share with anyone. But it just makes me laugh as I think of them right now. I wasn’t dying in any single one of them though! *grin*

Reminds me of a couple of years back in Delhi, while I saw these twins crossing the railway line hand in hand. When I heard a voice which came from one of them,“Are you afraid of dying?”; and the second just looked at him in a sense of belongingness and attachment. Nothing could I hear though.

Theres no reason for it, you’ve gotta go sometime…
I never said I was frightened of dying.

Scribble and Doodle…

There’s a lot that we keep thinking the entire day. A lot comes and passes across our minds. We seem to feel great about it at that particular time, about the thoughts, about those aspirations. And the next day, we don’t even remember it.

It is very very important to write them down.

It is indeed my state of mind right now. Just finished up writing down a lot of stuff that I got to be doing in the coming time. Its the fourth and the final semester here in Calcutta and the last 4 months of the MBA program. A couple of sessions at college really motivated me as it covered up and talked about a lot about my favourite topics. Assurance, Reassurance, Hopelessness, Randomness, Listening (and hearing), forgiving and forgetting; stuff like that

“Count your many blessings, name them one by one…”

It is indeed very important to scribble down your thoughts. It always remind you what exactly you got to be doing. Doodling around while thinking is the best thing I could do too. I tend to make perfect long elliptical shaped heads with goatees. Never mind.

They always talk about goals. Immediate goals, Short term goals, long term goals, very long term goals! blah! Not until yesterday’s training program at college did I take all these seriously. It was about investments, but carried along a great learning lesson along with it. How can one invest and reap at the right time.

I believe investment of ‘time’ is the biggest investment that one can make. Because it never comes back. Other stuff does. And to reap this fruit successfully is surely a challenge. Yes, I’m still scribbling

One Weird World! Oh yes!

“envy, jealousy, malice and pride… these must never in your heart abide…”… This is taken from one of the hymns that we used to sing in the morning assembly back in school. But it still keeps coming on to my head time and again. Even now!

I’m home for about a week right now. And there’s nothing SPECIAL or EXTRAORDINARY that I’m doing, but the feeling is just so GREAT! Is life the way we percieve it to be?

Life has a lot to do with the people we are with… They say that the personality of a person is developed right away at how he was at school. I firmly agree. Then comes the family, the peer group etc etc. The people around has a lot of impact on the way we work or do things. Sometimes even how we form opinions and percieve things.

Whenever I go to a mall, and look at the crowd, I’m amused. I dont want to sound idealistic but looking at them I see emptiness all around. I see different sets of masks. I see people talking, not even looking at each others eyes. Horrible!

Coming back home means great music too! I have been listening to a lot, a lot of Floyd past three days now! Floyd-esque!

“Running over the same old ground, how we found; the same old fears… Wish you were here…!“

I really don’t know what I was supposed to be writing. Its GREAT to be random at times. I love it.

One Weird World? Damn it!

For the little things you do! Too doo doo

and these little things you say! the way you say

keeps my sorrows away! Too doo doo

But baby why do you stay at bay!

Too doo doo, Woo hoo hoo, Too doo doo! doo!

The little things you do! Too doo doo

The little things you say…!

I think I should start studying tonight. Exams in another two days and I’m composing these lalala songs!

Music in the background:

Here comes the sun… too doo doo

here comes the sun…!

And I say, its alright!!!  :D

While waiting in a queue for an auto (quite ussual here at Calcutta) to go to my college this morning, I was just observing people and wondering; and thinking different things at once.

The song that came to mymind again and again was ‘Mad World’ (Tears for Fears).

I was dressed in formals today, in which I always feel very comfortable and confident.

…

All around are me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Most of the people we see everyday, or even us for that matter, seem to carry the same routine day after day. Even when we try to seem all so excited and happy about something, it gets on to us after a certain time and we start feeling worn out with the same, no matter how much we loved it!

And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression

I had written earlier of how we wear different masks for different people in our life. And in a little chat that I had with a friend here in Calcutta, we were discussing the same! And then came the talk of being different to different people in different situations. Aaah, makes my case easier!

Time’s running these days, and I’m happy that it is! I have become an insomniac lately, and after today’s grinding at the college, I think I better get my schedule right. Atleast stop singing songs when I see people! Really!

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very very,
Mad world, Mad world

…

In the little things they say, they convey a lot!

Mad World!