All things must pass!

We love cribbing! Don’t we?

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So as far as the update goes, I gave my first mid-semester exam today and felt restless the entire duration of the test. So as I left my seat on submitting the paper, I scribbled over my desk right… below my name…. SCREWED! Indeed!  :)

Exams do not motivate me now! Its been ages that it did anyway! Specially here in Calcutta, I just do not get the ‘feel’ to ’sit’ and ’specially’ study for the exam next day. Doesn’t happen. I have a couple of exams tomorrow! Few hours from now already!

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Picked up the book a while back! Two chapters done! Its like a drop in the ocean, but feels good! So I thought I’ll take a break!

Check Gmail! No new mails!

Check Facebook! No new comments!

Check Twitter! No @charuconsul

Check Blog! Ok I’m here now!

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I’ve been thinking and ‘w-o-n-d-e-r-i-n-g’ about a few things lately! Firstly, of how much our lives have changed in the past two years! I’m in no great school right now, but still the last two years have been a lot of learning! Ofcourse outside the class!

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I’d written about how expectations were good! And that we should, as humans, expect from each other! I do not believe in ‘you-are-my-special-friend’ or ‘you-are-my-best-friend’ theories anymore! Its crap! Telling somebody that ‘you-are-my-true-friend’ sucks all the way more! Friend? True friend? Special friend? Ohh ok! Give me a break! Isn’t a friend! A friend! In a world where most of the relationships are primarily built on interest! Once the interest is lost, or diluted, the essence of relationships diminishes! Reality Check, my friend!

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I hate to hear ‘out of sight, out of mind’ kind of quotes from people! Specially when they talk of friendship or relationships! You guys need to get a life! Really!

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In continuation with the expectation bit, One should only expect from their parents, their partner and their children and nobody else! It doesn’t help! It surely doesn’t! Not that I want to say that its a really mean world and that you should just do things in your self interest only! But one shouldn’t die one’s own life expecting to get a part of someone else’s! Here I would also like to say that one reason that I feel proud to be in India is that we are taught and made to practice family values right from our childhood. Its amazing!

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Another thing that comes as a learning is that one shouldn’t waste away life in jealousy! Or as I like to say here, denying that you were jealous! Easy said than done, sure, but one SHOULD NOT get jealous of just any other person! Im f**k**g jealous of Bill Gates, not this other friend of yours that you talk to!

‘Chhota Munh, Badi Baat’

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Life goes a full circle! Always remember that! Take out some time for yourself tonight! Tell that person that you love like hate. Tell the person how much you miss him/her!… Gyaan… Make that phone call! Send in that SMS!

F**k**g gyaan? Stop thinking about it then!

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All things must pass! All things must pass away! Sigh!

All things must pass away- George Harrison

Another DAY goes by

I’m highly inspired and impressed by Baharul’s ‘Another year goes by‘ post on his blog.

Yes, changes are all around us! As I see it, and also mentioned a few times here, that it is the trans-mode phase of the life right now. In almost bloody every aspect of life. Sigh! It is ONE of those TRANS-mode phases in life.

Life is fun these days though. Sometimes it is nice to sit back and relax, thinking about it! Yes of course, this is something which would definitely bring in mixed feelings on to our mind. Of what IS important! Of what we think is! Of what we always thought was! Of what we never though   t! Vague? yeah, can’t help!

I haven’t been away from family ever before Kolkata. Though when at home, I was always an independent chap, So it isn’t that tough! Its fun infact! But what I miss the most these days is them. Specially when I eat alone every afternoon. Or have dinner late at night.

Back at home, mom would always tell us, me and my brother, to have at least the dinner with them. But I’ve always have this habit of eating alone later at night. So did my brother. I guess he still does. But now I hate it. Though I can’t, yes can’t do a thing about it. I’ve tried!

Right now, as I write this, I can also recollect my trip to Delhi a month back. The most I miss are the ‘jam sessions’ I had with my brother. Singing along as he played the guitar. Marvelous! I wish to relive those moments again, soon!

‘Over the years I have realized that whenever you compare your lives at different stages nostalgia always wins’, as mentioned by him just ’so’ very touched me! I sort of realize that how we always talk about how great our lives were and how much fun we had with our school or college gang, without realizing that the other person also likes appreciation. Be fair to your present friends. But at the same time I ‘wish’ hope to be discussing my current friends later in life. The irony is whom do we think we will be talking about, and whom would we actually do? errr!

So, as every day pass and the more I love it with the acceptance that for anyone, investment in oneself is the most important thing right now. Trans-mode remember? Its fun! Its exciting! And I’m looking forward to more challenging stuff coming up soon!

Charu, how are you?

Yeah! I’m great!

That day will come!

This morning! In a friend’s car! While going to college! Great Music!

It so happens that the song ‘ik din ayega’ (Jal) started playing. *(read, A day will come)

Sitting at the window seat, looking outside, lost in nostalgia, lost in thoughts, and smiling. I didn’t realize when we reached college. It was a short route anyway. It reminded me of a lot of the time spent together with my friends during my graduation days. Vibhor and I would always sing this song and tell each other how good our lives would be, henceforth…

Lately, the idea of the existence of a cycle for one’s social behavior keeps coming to my head. Its that time of the life. All of our lives revolve around the concept of being an extrovert-ambivert-introvert. Circumstances play a huge role in how our lives are molded. The challenge for us is to be in control of one’s life. ONE’S OWN LIFE.

Teri Aankein Ab Hongi Na Kabhi Nam
Tu Jo Dekh Leh, Toh bhula doon Mein Saarein Gum
Tu Jo Chahein Toh.. Badlega Mausam..

… Of how good our lives would be, no matter…! hmmm!

Dil Tu Rona Nahin,
Khwaab Adhure Nahin… Ik Din Ayega…!

Politics, Democracy and other ‘natak’

Welcome to the largest democracy in the world; and ofcourse the ‘natak’ that comes along. Born and brought up in Delhi, graduating from the Delhi University itself and now being in Kolkata; I know exactly what politics is, or may be I like to presume so.

The newly painted walls of the ground in my colony here in Salt lake is full of those horrible looking posters. The fact is worsened by the fact that these posters is full of pictures of those ‘fat’, ‘ugly looking’ and ‘aged’ personalities. I’m further pissed off by those red flags hanging around everywhere. I’m pissed right now.

Further, walking back towards home this evening, as I reached the neighborhood market, I find this rally and its proceedings being carried out by one of these political parties. The whole road is jammed, with jeeps and vans full of people who looked like those paid for the day to join those rallies. A person standing on the top of the front van in white kurta with a mic and shouting out to God knows who. Begging for trust, begging for support. Somebody tell these morons that none of the educated people wants to listen to their stories, or what development they’ve been doing. Let the other fucking cars move on the road instead.

Our political environment sucks. Be it regional, state-based, or nationally. India, my ‘motherland’, to which I’m very proud of being born in, is like a rickety and an overcrowded bus with the driver and the conductor not knowing where the destination is. And it is the only mode of travelling, mind you.

Why does our political structure believes that there needs to be an age to ‘rule’ the nation. Why doesn’t the country feel that there must be a certain level of education to lead others. Why is our politics so much guided by caste, religion and birthplace, or even language. Have a look at the list of political parties in our country. So Hilarious. Even the whole talk of youth in politics in our country is just a gimmick. They are mere trump cards used by these politicians on the top level. I’m more amused when these young politicians become a part of reality shows on the idiot box. Who are these politicians to decide the names of  cities or towns and then they talk about history. Bloody illiterates.

Look at how voters are rewarded or bribed for their votes in universities. Who doesn’t want to catch that latest movie? or may be a beer or two? The ‘catch them young’ theory. The politicians deciding and talking about morality and whats right or wrong, and even what language to speak in. Tell those a-holes that hindi is the national language and  the states they were born in are not their fathers properties. Given a chance some politicians may sell of their states to other nations.

Do not think that I’m talking about politics as a whole. By this I also do not mean that its only a matter of a few black sheep in the herd. There surely are a few good citizens in the system, may be some of them who are never talked about, may be they do not make great stories to sell in the media. Media is full of reality shows, astronomy and Rakhi Sawant anyway. I’m sure she’s getting a ticket in elections soon.

I, as of now, do not relate to any parties in the system right now. I hate how the parties are known and blamed for being communal. Rightly so! At the same time I also hate how family legacy, the surname legacy exists in another one. I’m not sure if Priyanka Gandhi Wadera’s kids are also ‘the Gandhis’. Funny. Funny on how they talk of an SC/ST party giving tickets to a ‘Brahmin’ to attract votes in that population and at the same time shouting slogans against them. I find expansion plans of these parties more hilarious.

I’m sitting on this rickety bus too. But the whole thing just bugs me off. May be I’ll take the muddy and full of pot-holes road to my destination. Not that I’m deciding not to vote. But to vote only if its right and justified to do so. Fucking criminals.

P.S. Excuse the use of language in this post. Thank you. Good night.