I’m not afraid of dying. I’m more afraid to think and decide on what to do if I was to die tomorrow, or even if it came after a week. In a conversation with a friend and then later on a TED video, the very question kept coming, and I’m still thinking. Its been a week already!
Who all would you like to meet if you knew you gonna die? What would you like to do? What would you say? Oh, and you have no time to rehearse, make a plan or make a script. You have no time. Panic. Listening to ‘The Great Gig in the Sky’ makes me go much beyond! Will people have time? Will they have the same excuses that I have been throwing at them all this time? Would they have forgotten me? Will they come to my funeral, specially when I didn’t care when their family members died? Would they just think it’s the last means for a revenge?
Will I die happily? laughing on a friend’s joke? Will I die on the road? car accident? Would I get a heart attack, then rushed to a hospital, my family would spend lakhs to save me, and then I die? Will someone kill me? I already have a secret fantasy (no more) that the barber would chop off my head while I happily sit to get a shave.
A few years back, I can’t recall who, but some friend or teacher of mine told me the importance of forgetting and forgiving. Both being very important. If I’m told today of death, may be I start thinking on those lines. That I should forgive people for anything unjust they did to me? But otherwise? Forget, is much easier. I guess. But does it happen? It’s just mere coincidence that ‘wish you were here’ started playing.
I have had a lot of nightmares lately. I have woken up to a few as well. Some, which I even can’t talk about or share with anyone. But it just makes me laugh as I think of them right now. I wasn’t dying in any single one of them though! *grin*
Reminds me of a couple of years back in Delhi, while I saw these twins crossing the railway line hand in hand. When I heard a voice which came from one of them,“Are you afraid of dying?”; and the second just looked at him in a sense of belongingness and attachment. Nothing could I hear though.
Theres no reason for it, you’ve gotta go sometime…
I never said I was frightened of dying.
