And while he wondered on the battlefield,

if it was just for man to fight another man…

… the sniper’s bullet ripped through his neck!

We love cribbing! Don’t we?

…

So as far as the update goes, I gave my first mid-semester exam today and felt restless the entire duration of the test. So as I left my seat on submitting the paper, I scribbled over my desk right… below my name…. SCREWED! Indeed!  :)

Exams do not motivate me now! Its been ages that it did anyway! Specially here in Calcutta, I just do not get the ‘feel’ to ’sit’ and ’specially’ study for the exam next day. Doesn’t happen. I have a couple of exams tomorrow! Few hours from now already!

…

Picked up the book a while back! Two chapters done! Its like a drop in the ocean, but feels good! So I thought I’ll take a break!

Check Gmail! No new mails!

Check Facebook! No new comments!

Check Twitter! No @charuconsul

Check Blog! Ok I’m here now!

…

I’ve been thinking and ‘w-o-n-d-e-r-i-n-g’ about a few things lately! Firstly, of how much our lives have changed in the past two years! I’m in no great school right now, but still the last two years have been a lot of learning! Ofcourse outside the class!

…

I’d written about how expectations were good! And that we should, as humans, expect from each other! I do not believe in ‘you-are-my-special-friend’ or ‘you-are-my-best-friend’ theories anymore! Its crap! Telling somebody that ‘you-are-my-true-friend’ sucks all the way more! Friend? True friend? Special friend? Ohh ok! Give me a break! Isn’t a friend! A friend! In a world where most of the relationships are primarily built on interest! Once the interest is lost, or diluted, the essence of relationships diminishes! Reality Check, my friend!

…

I hate to hear ‘out of sight, out of mind’ kind of quotes from people! Specially when they talk of friendship or relationships! You guys need to get a life! Really!

…

In continuation with the expectation bit, One should only expect from their parents, their partner and their children and nobody else! It doesn’t help! It surely doesn’t! Not that I want to say that its a really mean world and that you should just do things in your self interest only! But one shouldn’t die one’s own life expecting to get a part of someone else’s! Here I would also like to say that one reason that I feel proud to be in India is that we are taught and made to practice family values right from our childhood. Its amazing!

…

Another thing that comes as a learning is that one shouldn’t waste away life in jealousy! Or as I like to say here, denying that you were jealous! Easy said than done, sure, but one SHOULD NOT get jealous of just any other person! Im f**k**g jealous of Bill Gates, not this other friend of yours that you talk to!

‘Chhota Munh, Badi Baat’

…

Life goes a full circle! Always remember that! Take out some time for yourself tonight! Tell that person that you love like hate. Tell the person how much you miss him/her!… Gyaan… Make that phone call! Send in that SMS!

F**k**g gyaan? Stop thinking about it then!

…

All things must pass! All things must pass away! Sigh!

All things must pass away- George Harrison

One Weird World! Oh yes!

“envy, jealousy, malice and pride… these must never in your heart abide…”… This is taken from one of the hymns that we used to sing in the morning assembly back in school. But it still keeps coming on to my head time and again. Even now!

I’m home for about a week right now. And there’s nothing SPECIAL or EXTRAORDINARY that I’m doing, but the feeling is just so GREAT! Is life the way we percieve it to be?

Life has a lot to do with the people we are with… They say that the personality of a person is developed right away at how he was at school. I firmly agree. Then comes the family, the peer group etc etc. The people around has a lot of impact on the way we work or do things. Sometimes even how we form opinions and percieve things.

Whenever I go to a mall, and look at the crowd, I’m amused. I dont want to sound idealistic but looking at them I see emptiness all around. I see different sets of masks. I see people talking, not even looking at each others eyes. Horrible!

Coming back home means great music too! I have been listening to a lot, a lot of Floyd past three days now! Floyd-esque!

“Running over the same old ground, how we found; the same old fears… Wish you were here…!“

I really don’t know what I was supposed to be writing. Its GREAT to be random at times. I love it.

One Weird World? Damn it!

While waiting in a queue for an auto (quite ussual here at Calcutta) to go to my college this morning, I was just observing people and wondering; and thinking different things at once.

The song that came to mymind again and again was ‘Mad World’ (Tears for Fears).

I was dressed in formals today, in which I always feel very comfortable and confident.

…

All around are me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Most of the people we see everyday, or even us for that matter, seem to carry the same routine day after day. Even when we try to seem all so excited and happy about something, it gets on to us after a certain time and we start feeling worn out with the same, no matter how much we loved it!

And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression

I had written earlier of how we wear different masks for different people in our life. And in a little chat that I had with a friend here in Calcutta, we were discussing the same! And then came the talk of being different to different people in different situations. Aaah, makes my case easier!

Time’s running these days, and I’m happy that it is! I have become an insomniac lately, and after today’s grinding at the college, I think I better get my schedule right. Atleast stop singing songs when I see people! Really!

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very very,
Mad world, Mad world

…

In the little things they say, they convey a lot!

Mad World!

People matter!

They do!

But!

Not more than oneself!

Not more than the ones who actually,like ACTUALLY care for you!

Never be what people want you to be!

But show them what YOU are!

BE what you ARE!

~~~~~

Issued in PUBLIC INTEREST!

~~~~~

Had my 1st midsem/ Gen knowledgle/ essay writing/ god knows what sales and distribution exam today!

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained

Some of us love our space. Some of us like it in a group. Some of us like this more and that less, and vica versa!

Phew!!! Well I have been pondering over this a lot until I came across a blog post which talked about the same. isolation or Company!!!

Well, it talked about a perfect Company and a perfect Isolation!!! Thumbs up!!!

Do you need some time…on your own
Do you need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time…on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

I love my space. And I love my isolation at times. Its required isn’t it. Some even hate it, even for me! I know I’m not supposed to shout around talking about the space I want, well, but!!! I do not like the same when I’m alone and thinking of how I could be somewhere else. I hate it. Perfect isolation is what I need eh!

Its great to know people. Its gets better when you know a lot of people. It works for you. But the right company is important. The perfect company! Hmmm! Its fun learning a lot from different people.

Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one

Yes! totally! I do feel heavy at heart when I’m alone at times. I also have that sinking feeling when I’m with people I might not like to invest my time on.

~~~Messed up, I know!!!~~~

“I am an emotional person”, “I’m too emotional a guy”, “I cant help when emotions come into the picture”, “I am an emotional fool”. Common, ready reference statements? well, yeah!

Emotions rules all of us. But there are a set of people whose minds are driven by these, and they become so very sure that, they are a class apart of people known as ‘emotional fools’. Some take pride in calling themselves the same on their own. I call them ‘emotionally challenged’; though on the contrary there are also people who are called the same by the world, for whom I surely have a soft corner.

You would be like dices on the chessboard, if the world comes to know about that rotten part of your heart. They would play with it. Why keep reminding the world, that how soft, how sensitive, how impossible you can get to face certain situations in life. Who wants to listen to bad stuff anyhow these days? Please do not mistake me calling ‘friends’ as people here. They are two different things. And when i say ‘friends’; I mean ‘FRIENDS’.

There are so many of us who teach the world not to stay in the past. Not to stay in the future too. But according to me its good to be in it (not the whole day, not on your office desk, for sure). But yeah, that sunday afternoon, in your room, with the old memories flashing across you, reminding you of good and old memories is so refreshing. Atleast for me, it is. It makes me smile, it makes me weep. It makes me feel a connection.

Some cry for love not found, some cry for love lost, and some just cry for the sake of it, just because everyone else is crying?  Some one being with you for years couldn’t understand and stick around with you, and some one whom you just know for ten days , would make you smile like crazy. It happens with all of us. Doesn’t it?

Its great to be emotional, but it sucks to be emotionally challenged. Why not live, like we live on our birthdays. ‘Its my birthday’, Oh yeah, ‘its a new day’. Why just think life stops there. Don’t you remember fourth grade when they taught us about the right usage of commas and full-stops. Oh yes, life is unfair, not to me, not to you, everyone. But thats how we learn, thats why we are humans. We learn.

Do not be just another brick in the wall, do not let other people get your kicks for you, do not be a part of the daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere!!!